We’re all doomed

When you fill the army with fags and dykes and spit in the face of God, you have sown the wind, and shall reap the whirlwind (Hos. 8:7).

You’ve got to hand it to the Reverend Fred Phelps, of Westboro Baptist Church. He’s not just your average cunt, he’s a persistent cunt, and possibly the most organised and efficient cunt we’ve ever come across. Basically, he’s a professional cunt.

A professional cunt who’s also a clever cunt with an uncommonly keen eye for good copy. He’s such an eloquent cunt he should really be working in advertising; he’s completely wasted on God.

Some of his top slogans displayed at soldiers’ funerals over the past couple of years include: AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED… the list goes on and on.

Our favourite was the persuasive slogan taking centre-stage at the funeral last month of 19-year old Brianna Denison, victim of a serial rapist and murderer in Reno: PRAY FOR MORE DEAD KIDS. It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.

As well as the famous God Hates Fags website, Phelps is also responsible for God Hates America and - our favourite - Priests Rape Boys (tagline: ‘Priests rape boys’ is an air-tight, three word case against the Catholic church, the largest, most well-funded and organized paedophile group in the history of man!). There are several spin-off sites and also one dedicated to Phelps on film, featuring his recent film explaining how Heath Ledger has gone to hell and why the WBC picketed his funeral.

The good old WBC enjoy reminding us that they have warned us, “for fifty years, on a daily basis … on the mean streets of 500 American cities in all fifty states” that we are doomed. We are doomed and it is too late to repent. You got that? It’s too late.

So, fuck it, let’s get out there and rape a few boys. Nothin’ to lose now.

We’re all doomed….