Pigeon Shit

Ding dong, darlings.

You may, if you’ve been rigorous in your consumption of online current affairs (i.e. following FaceFuck updates), already be aware - so apologies for repetition - that a pigeon shat on my head outside Starbucks on Friday 13th. Apparently, this was “lucky”.

Not so lucky for the environment since I immediately developed a cosmic resentment and, when I got home, decided to boil the kettle repeatedly for the sheer helluvit and get my own back on the universe.

Which, since I’m on a meter, then bounced back on me just as I found some decent porn on Xtube in the middle of the night, and the leccy clicked off. Let it be a lesson.

By the time I made it back from the 24-hour shop to top up the key, I was no longer bothered about a wank so just sat on the edge of my bed, half-thinking about not-very-much, for a drawn-out period of very downtime. Asking myself questions like why do pigeons always have such last-minute reactions when I’m riding at speed on my bike? The number of times I’ve slammed on the brakes….

Pigeons are shit. Unless used in magic.

Pigeon Magic - The funniest home videos are here