Number One or Nothing

I had the idea to post a blog about procrastination & perfectionism, mmmm, about a month ago. I was gonna make it a New Year blog. Fresh approach, new beginnings, that kind of thing. So, I finally get around to it today, four weeks into the New Year. Ah, well, I have been on holiday. I still am, in fact, so get me. Better late than never.

What had got me focussing on procrastination was a visit to Tate Britain’s ‘Turner & The Masters’ exhibition. The curatorial blurb that accompanied the paintings kept hammering home the idea that Turner was intensely competitive and obsessed with outdoing his peers, and the masters that came before him. Apparently, at the Royal Academy, it would seem that part of training an artist up was to get them to copy a great painting, then try to ‘better’ it.

Inevitably, I found myself comparing the paintings I was seeing. And hearing other punters expressing their opinions about which they preferred, which was better. It made me irritated and itchy to be cornered into this approach. Why couldn’t I just look at the paintings and appreciate them individually, without reference? So, I decided I would, and stopped reading the blurb.

I still got an idea that this was a Turner, or that was a Rembrandt, ‘cos I could detect consistencies in style, and recognised a few of the paintings. But I found I got a lot more out of the exhibition once I stopped reading the blurb and just observed.

I was inspired enough to get some charcoal on the way home, that I might do a bit of sketching. Before bed, to relax, I thought I’d have a go at making a pretty picture. As I picked up my sketchbook I was suddenly overwhelmed by the depressing realisation that I can’t just knock off a masterpiece like Rembrandt in five minutes, so what’s the point? (I doubt he knocked out masterpieces in five minutes, either, mind you, but I’m lazy like that and I want it all NOW.)

After I reminded myself that I could draw a sketch and it wouldn’t matter if it was complete crap so long as I got something out of the process of doing it, I was able to put charcoal to paper and came up with something that was perfectly okay. So, I did it. It’s on my bedroom wall. If you’re ever passing by, drop in and take a look. There’s nothing else quite like it.

Self-portrait

Currently resides in the attic.